I Do All the Talking
Most mornings I sit down with a list already running. What I need to get through. What I'm worried about. What I want fixed before the day starts pulling at me. I get to the end of it and I stand up like I finished something.
I used to call that being thorough. Covering everything. Making sure nothing got left unsaid.
That's not covering everything. That's me using the whole time to talk.
The List I Bring
The list is real. Work. The house. People I love. Things I don't know how to fix. I'm not making that up, and I'm not going to pretend those things don't belong in the room.
What I skip is the part after I run out of sentences. The quiet. Sitting there with nothing left to say. That part feels like I didn't finish, so I fill it. Another item. Another explanation. Another pass at saying it better.
The honest talking isn't the problem. I need that. I just notice I almost never stop at the end of it. I keep going until the time is gone.
I think I do it because talking is a kind of control. If I name everything, maybe I've done my part. If I go quiet, I have to admit I'm not running this.
He Was Told to Listen
Samuel was young. He did not yet know the Lord. The instruction he got was not to make sure he covered everything. It was a sentence with no list in it.
The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening." 1 Samuel 3:10
Speak. I'm listening.
He didn't start with what he needed. He started with room for a voice that wasn't his.
I reverse that. I sit down already talking. I stand up without ever having listened. Not because I think there's nothing on the other side of the quiet. Because filling the air is easier than finding out.
If the sitting is mostly you talking, Reflect is free to try for 7 days. It won't hand you better words. It'll give you a place to stay after you run out of them.
After I Run Out of Sentences
I still bring the list. I just don't want it to take the whole visit.
I'm trying to get to the listening part before I stand up. I don't do it well yet. I still talk first. But I know the difference now. I can't pretend I don't.
The list will be there tomorrow. It doesn't need the whole visit.
Try Reflect free for 7 days: reflect.forgedagents.io/welcome
Trent Jones is the author of the Forged Agents blog and builder of "Reflect", a daily reflection companion for living in the present, in peace, with joy.
